Poisoned by the absence of poison

I will remain silent for few more days.

To explain: I've spent too much time underground (laziness, I should commit evil on the surface but noooo, there are still episodes of Married with Children I did not see...) so my glorious return to the surface ended with a lot of vomit and quick (and quite shameful) retreat back to my sewers. Yeah, I can't live without my beloved sewer gases and when I neglect clean air for some time it has these results.

No ice cream for the superheroes!

Last couple of days the weather didn't even resemble the winter, so until it returns back to the cold hell in Wednesday I will eat a lot of ice cream. I want cold winters.

Also here's the post title evil video:

Introducing a minon (he's a bear)

This is a short introduction of my new minion, The Nefarious Professor Paw! He's a super mutant assassin polar bear.

Very evil idea indeed, Professor Paw.

Flood Food Television

Rivers continue to rise and sewers are not very dry at this moment, so I did not cause any mayhem today as it would be very hard to outperform the Mother Nature. Instead I sit in my lair, watch TV shows and munch on some chips.

 

Watch me now, I'm going down!

"Old lady went to get some corn, was surprised by the flood wave in the middle of a field." I know how she smelled.

The Czech is not in the mail

I just spent some time searching any signs of Czech superheroes and the results are both good and horrifying.

The horrifying is some old guy dressed as a superhero looking for more old guys dressed as superheroes for sex.

The good is that there are no "real" superheroes. And I intend to keep it this way. And as far as I know I may be the first masked villain on the scene. (I don't count and don't ally myself with unmasked (super)villains for their utter unoriginality: they all have the same costume and meet in the parliament. They also cause real harm).


In other local news, the water levels rise and I have to take alternative tunnels for a while.

Of Cats and Hobos selling shoes

A cat wandered near one of my safehouses in the outer sewers today on her rat hunt. She just walked in and didn't even look scared of me, which was quite refreshing. I gave here some rat meat and petted her. She stayed for three hours, purring on my lap as I watched Married with Children, then she left. I think we are friends now.

"Meow" - my new friend

Some homeless people deserve a voice acting job and some deserve to be rock stars with millions of fans like this guy.

Just cleaning my lair

So I was doing some cleaning in the main living room of my lair and checked the stack of papers that were beneath one shorter leg of a table (a temporary solution... at the time) and what did I find?

What's that? Oh, right, it's a 1945 Red Law. I didn't read it then and I will certainly not read it now, but I seem to remember the 1945 toilet paper shortage. That explains that.

Even villains should not forget to clean their rooms once in a while! I have a feeling there may be more things from 1945 in my lair, and some of it was once food...

Of Hitler, me & wiener dogs: Not THAT kind of evil.

I am evil.
Hitler was evil.

But we are completely different. You see, I think there's a line in the evilness that cannot be crossed without becoming "sick". As you can see on the image below, World domination is quite healthy activity for a villain to engage in, genocide is not.

"Bad Evil" is just one photo of you posing with dead cats away! And yes, I've never done any charts before and you can tell.

It is necessary to stay on the side of pure evil: Steal world landmarks, hold the world hostage, construct a doomsday machine.

Then I made another image because I had fun doing that one and didn't manage to put wiener dogs on it.

Note that the Evil scale is completely different. That's because the nature of Evil is very unstable (and I didn't bother to sync them).  And while it may seem that I am not that evil, beware! I am evil! A have a DOOM MACHINE (in construction) and I am not afraid to use it!


In other news, I am currently thinking about a truly evil device: It could be stealthily attached to various types of doors and when somebody opens them - bam, small amount of old lady smell is released to the area. This way I can keep more areas under my control and just replace the OLS/OWS canister once in a while. I may also make a "land mine" variant, that will be activated by humans stepping on a floor tile.

And nothing can stop me.

This is merely a test

Rat bit my plunger today. It sucked and this is a test post.